Shadows of the Past
by Kuraun Kuraun
Summary: The Order is in shambles. Allen is gone, and the result of it has turned Lenalee's world upside down. But things have gotten even more confusing. What happened to Allen? Who are these cloaked people? And what is Leverrier's motive? Allen/Lenalee
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note**_ - Greetings, fellow FanFiction community! This is my first attempt at mystery and at a actual Allen/Lenalee story. I can't promise quick updates, as _Living Animation_ is my main focus, but I guarantee that they will not be long, extended updating periods. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys.

I thank and dedicate this to **Ozuchi-Kozuchi**, my wonderful BETA reader who encouraged me to publish this.

**Disclaimer** - I own no characters mentioned. That and the original plot belong to Katsura Hoshino.

* * *

She couldn't cry.

Maybe her tears had long dried up. Maybe, after so much crying and despair, there was no more energy left in her to grieve. Some said she was heartbroken. Others said she would get over it. As she thought of it, however, she felt nothing.

Lavi told her she took emotionless to a whole new level. It had been a joke; an attempt to cheer her up just a week after the incident. He'd laughed. She told him she hadn't felt anything for a while.

He made her see the Head Nurse.

"Here you go," the woman had told her, handing her a bottle of pills. "This should help, Lenalee. You'll feel like yourself again in no time." Three days later, she flushed them down the toilet. Lavi found out a week after she was prescribed them.

"What are you, crazy? You need those, Lenalee!"

When she disposed of the fourth container handed to her, even under heavy watch by Lavi and others, he gave up. People continued to speak of Allen and his disappearance; she continued to ignore it. Months passed, and eventually the young man who had nearly gotten his head chopped off by Kanda was forgotten. Slowly, she began to think less of him each day.

One day, while on a mission, her Innocence had suddenly shut down, refusing to invoke once again. She returned home with a broken leg as a result of falling. After being rushed home, scientists looked to Hevlaska for answers when it was determined that nothing was physically malfunctioning with the Dark Boots.

"You both have lost your will," the Exorcist had told her, a hint of sorrow in her voice. Off to the side stood Leverrier and another figure who was cloaked so she couldn't determine their identity; he remained unimportant to her.

"That's outrageous!" Leverrier argued, "the Innocence is a substance God has provided us with! It lacks just as much emotion as Lenalee Lee does herself!"

But she had no will. Never was she ever given the freedom of having one.

"Your Innocence is just as lost as you are," Hevlaska spoke. "Like many of us, it wonders who you have become. It is confused, but most of all it is hurt."

"Hurt?" she repeated. Something tugged at her lightly from inside. She closed her eyes, but as much as she strained to, she couldn't understand the feeling. Shortly later, she was lowered to the ground once again and the mysterious stranger handed her crutches. Thanking him, she made her way to leave when Leverrier stepped forward, blocking her path.

"Lenalee Lee, it's been a while."

"Yes, it has," she replied, her voice neutral.

"It seems that you no longer fear my presence."

"I feared of what you would take," she stated evenly. From the corner of her eye, she could see Lavi take a step forward, only to recoil at Bookman's glare. "You have taken everything, Leverrier. I have nothing else to lose."

"Inspector." The cloaked person took a step forward. From the tone of their voice, she knew he was a male. When nothing else was said, Leverrier quietly left the room. As the cloaked individual moved to follow after him, a voice cut through the silence, making the whole room fill with tense.

"Wait."

Shocked, Lenalee whipped around, nearly losing her balance, to look at Lavi. She was not mistaken. She could tell by the anger in his features that he had been the one to speak.

"Why?"

She could almost feel the cloaked man smile. "Who wouldn't?" Lavi's eyes darkened, but before he could demand more out of him, he left the room, following after Leverrier.

He was soon forgotten when her legs began to throb and she fell to the floor, crying out in agony.

* * *

"I have found nothing wrong with your legs."

She nodded, a faraway look in her eyes as she watched the rain from the window.

"Lenalee?"

The Head Nurse gave up after a while with a sigh, but Lenalee was still spacing out. She didn't think. She just sat there, fingering her anklets as she gazed out the window. A while later, the woman returned with the same pills she'd prescribed a little over half a year ago.

"Lenalee, please... just one. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

She didn't answer.

"Lenalee, please. I'm begging you. Don't do this to yourself."

She shook her head, inching away as the bottle was pressed in front of her.

"It's never too late, Lenalee. Stop yourself before it's too late."

"I'm not hurting myself."

"Yes you are," she protested. "Lenalee, don't you see that you've reduced yourself to just a shell? What do you wish to accomplish by this?"

She lowered her gaze.

"I... I don't want to be hurt anymore."

"Goodness, child," the older woman pulled Lenalee into a hug, rocking her gently. "You will not be hurt anymore if you take your medication. I would never advise anything if it was not good for your health. It was me who looked after you all those years, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, Head Nurse. I would've hated it here entirely if you had not been so kind."

"Lenalee, this is not you. Who have you become?"

"I am no one different."

She was not permitted to leave, and spent the night in the infirmary. Early the next morning, Lavi arrived to find the pills that had been set out for her untouched, as well as the water. Sighing deeply, he sat down in a chair.

"Lenalee."

"Hm?" She turned her head towards him.

"What's gotten into you? Why won't you take your medication?"

Her gaze returned to the window, and she was silent for a moment before her voice broke out into a whisper.

"I always remember him."

* * *

"How do you feel?"

She glared at him. "If you mean by how I feel now that you've demanded I take them, I haven't felt worse."

Lavi gave her his trademark grin before falling into step beside her. "Where are you headed?"

"Anywhere," she replied. She no longer had to use crutches, but her Innocence was still malfunctioning. Closing her eyes, she tried to feel the presence of the Dark Boots within her body. Before, she could faintly feel the Innocence cursing throughout her veins, ready to provide assistance at any moment, but now it felt that she had been left in the dark.

Perhaps God had really given up on her.

"Lenalee... what do you always remember about Allen?"

She stopped, and for a second she thought the floor was wavering beneath her. Unwanted memories flooded her mind and, for a moment, it seemed that she was reliving the event again. The shouts and protests filled her ears and she fought hard to not relive the tears that she had shed that day.

"Lenalee!"

"No!" she cried out as she felt arms wrap around her, the same way Allen had that day. She shook her head, attempting to rid the image of him stroking her hair, telling her he'd be back. "Stop it!"

Lavi pulled her against her protests, effectively restraining her as he held her tightly. "Lenalee, calm down. It's okay." She heard him sigh. "Geez, I knew the pills were hard on you, but I didn't know they put you into such a flashback state."

"Lavi..." she bit her lip, "do you think Allen's still alive?"

"I don't know, Lenalee. He was taken by Leverrier. We were told that they had a purpose for him... but Central will say anything to keep thier true plans a secret."

Lenalee gritted her teeth, turning around and making a run for her destination. Lavi tried to catch her, but it was too late.

"Lenalee, wait! It's too dangerous for you to get involved with Central alone!" Lavi clenched his fists. If Central had really been the one responsible for Cross' mysterious disappearance, it was likely they were picking off those who knew certain information. If Lenalee was to discover something they wanted hidden...

Leverrier was planning something.

And a trap could very well be waiting for Lenalee.

"Damn," he cursed, clutching at his hair. "What the hell is his motive?"

A figure stepped out from the shadows, making Lavi turn around quickly, hand reaching for his hammer, but he stopped as soon as he recognized the person.

_First Cross..._

_Then Allen..._

His eyes narrowed. Something was going on.

"It's been a while." It was the person accompanying Leverrier. Lavi would've prepared for combat, but had recognized the voice.

"No way..."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note**_ - Wow, guys. Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites! I hope you all continue to enjoy _Shadows of the Past_.

**Disclaimer** - It would _not_ be wise to leave all those awesome characters in my hands. You all think the art's screwed up now...

* * *

Allen was everywhere.

Memories of him flashed through her mind as she hurried along through the corridors. Every corner she took she was met with another memory. In her mind's eye, she watched him smile, watched him speak. She felt him hold her, felt his hand wrap around her's.

But nothing was more heartwrenching than seeing those eyes. No one else had eyes like his. Eyes that, no matter how angry he was, reamained pools of kindness. Nobody saw passed that smile he used that day he was led away from his home.

She did, though.

Furiously, she barged into her brother's office. Komui had been doing paperwork and had looked up in alarm upon seeing her. "L-Lenalee?"

"Where's Leverrier?"

"He's having a meeting," the man replied, though there was concern evident in his facial expression. "Lenalee, what's going on?"

"I need to talk to him." She said before adding and leaving the room, "now."

Ignoring her brother's protests, she continued along, quickly making him lose his trail. She made her way through several halls until she came upon a door she was certain he would use as a meeting. Following the exterior wall of the room, she continued along untl she found a ventilation system, appearing to lead straight into the room itself.

She pulled on the bar, but as expected it didn't budge. Narrowing her eyes, she jogged to the science department, where she was certain Johnny would be at.

"Johnny!"

Johnny rushed to meet her. "Lenalee! What's wrong? You look really pale, maybe you should go-"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I don't have much time. I need a screw driver."

"Screw driver?" He repeated, bewildered. "What for, Lenalee?"

Careful to make certain that no one was listening, she lowered her voice, "I can't guarantee that we won't get introuble, so I can't tell you, but please... I need your help."

He nodded, casually making his way back and grabbing the tool, returning to her in record time. "Good luck," he whispered before turning back to his work. Lenalee took a deep breath and headed back to the vent, making sure no one else was around before working to unscrew the bolts.

The cover came off easily, and she propped it up against the wall gently before crawling inside. It was small, dark, and cramped, but she could make out light up ahead, giving her a sliver of hope.

And because she knew Allen would do the same for her.

Settling before the end, where she found herself overlooking the very room Allen had been led in the night of his last encounter with General Cross, she soundlessly peered around the room. Link, Leverrier, and one of the Third Exorcists were located in the room. Link was standing near the door, the Third Exorcist sitting on the couch facing Leverrier, who was in the chair.

How odd. Leverrier, from what she had seen, had never felt the need to address one Third Exorcist in particular. She continued to hide the dark shadows of the vent as she witnessed everything before her.

"I assume everything went as well as I hoped for, is that right?" Despite his personality, Leverrier had always been an expert in being kind. The calm before the storm.

"Yes, sir," the voice replied tonelessly. His voice was masked, so it was difficult to tell who he was besides hat he was a man.

"As long as you're a good boy and do as I say," he sounded dictorious, "they won't suspect anything."

They? Who was 'they'? Lenalee clenched her fists.

"Understood."

"And if any feelings are to surface," he stated sternly, "they will be reported to me. I will not let my project ruin after it's come this far."

His project? Wasn't that a human being? Lenalee suddenly felt very sick. The crosses on her ankles burnt without warning, making her bite down on her lip as she clutched at them, squinting her eyes in pain. The pain continued on for many minutes and, just when she thought she couldn't hold it in any longer and was about to break, the pain ceased slowly.

"Yes, sir."

Her foot slipped, her heel scratching against metal. She gasped before freezing, but it was too late. Leverrier's head snapped back to where she was. "Who are you?"

As they rushed to uncover her identity, she broke into a run, making it out before they could see her. She heard the door, just around the corner, open, thus making her dash for it. Corner after corner she went until she collided with someone, making them both tople over.

"Lenalee?"

It was Lavi, but she didn't have any time to react before Leverrier and Link appeared. Her heart stopped.

Yet, somehow, Lavi seemed to know that she'd gotten herself into trouble, because he took advantage of the fact that he was practically supporting her. "Ahh, Lenalee, take it easy for once, will you? Here, let's get you to bed. Next time you're tired, you really should get to bed sooner before you get this klutzy."

His acting seemed to do the trick. Leverrier grumpily reminded her she was an Exorcist and, therefore, was doing an excelent job was ruining her reputation, before heading back. After a tense silence, she tried to follow after but was pulled back by Lavi. "Are you crazy?" he whispered in a cry. "What'd you do?"

"I... I heard him, and I need to go back."

"No, what you need to do is stay the heck away from him." He tightly gripped her arm. "Do you want to die?"

"I'm not going to die," she replied, pulling away.

"I won't let you."

"And why's that? I thought you were a Bookman. Shouldn't you not be interfering with us?"

She was saying it to get her way, and Lavi knew that. He gritted his teeth. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Lenalee," he pushed her against the wall, and she struggled to make him release his grip, but it was to no avail. "I understand what you're trying to do, but reminding me that I'm a Bookman isn't going to change anything. I'll come to terms with myself later, but right now, I think I'm going to kick myself if I sit around and watch you get yourself into this."

"Don't try to stop me," she snapped. She was tired of just hiding in the dark and hoping for Allen's fate to be handed to her. This was not a fairytale. The truth was likely to be hard, but one way or another she was going to find out what had happened to Allen.

"Listen," his voice had dropped, "I will let Gramps punish me for interfering with history later. He's going to find out soon enough, anyway. So just let me help you too, okay?"

"Do..." her voice was shaky. She must've looked more fragile than she felt. "Do you think he's still alive?"

"I don't know, Lenalee," he replied. "There's no facts that-"

She gripped him by the jacket, making him blink. "_Forget_ the facts," she said. "What's _your_ opinion?"

"I don't have opinions, Lenalee. I'm a Bookman."

"You have opinions," she remarked, getting irritated. "You just don't want to say them because your worried about how it will affect you being a Bookman? Didn't you just mess up history five minutes ago?"

"Lenalee, if Gramps finds out and my title is removed, I don't have access to information anymore. I want to help, but the emotions you're expecting me to express I _can't_. Bookman-"

"Aren't supposed to have friends," she finished. "Especially with those creating history. I _know_ that. However," she took a step closer, "what about when those very people think of you as friends? We're all comrades here."

"Lenalee..."

Huffing, she turned away and began to walk away. When she was a few feet away, she stopped, and without turning around spoke, "Allen thought of you as a friend."

"Your world's broken." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. One that she could not deny and did not even try to.

"It's shattering," she replied, studying her hands. "We keep drifting apart from each other, and as much as I try to pick up the pieces, I always cut my hands. Nothing works to mend it back together. Maybe it's because I'm broken too... or I'm too weak to fix it."

Her emotions were numb. It felt awkward to have them after being deprived of them for so long. Maybe she was still living in her shell.

"That must be the first time in nearly a year since I heard that name come from you," Lavi commented, now leaning against the wall. She turned, just in time to see him open his visible eye. "Sometimes, I get myself thinking that you two have a connection, and always end up knocking myself for the idea. Even now, I don't get it. Seems almost impossible for you to still be alive if he were dead."

"Huh?"

"Think about it. You were fine before he came, weren't you?"

"That's not true!" she protested. "We were happy when he came too-"

He held up a hand, silencing her. "But you've gotten happier since he joined us. We've all seen it. Why do you think Komui has yet to kill Allen for being around you all the time. Like I said before; it's you and Allen. You two go together like peanutbutter and jelly. And everytime you two are separated, something always occurs with your Innocence."

"What are you saying?"

"I mean what I say." He ran a hand through his hair.

"You're proof that Allen is still alive."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note**_ - It came a little later than planned, but here's chapter three of _Shadows of the Past_. Thank you everyone who's reviewed. Hope you all enjoy!

**Disclaimer** - I know you all know that I know I don't own _D. Gray-Man_. FanFiction... not being the respectful owner... isn't it interesting how it all goes hand-in-hand?

* * *

Lavi had left shortly after their encounter, hopeful of using his title as Bookman for uncovering information. His plan was to locate Link and recover the information from him, using the excuse that he needed it as it would be a huge historical event. He'd told her to go back to her room. Told her to go to sleep. They'd begin tomorrow, he said.

But she couldn't sleep.

Her legs were aching again. She closed her eyes as she laid in bed, having long given up begging for the pain to cease. She thought of what Lavi had said. What was he implying? That her and Allen had an abnormal connection?

Sighing, she planted her feet on the floor, ignoring the cool touch. She was far too restless to just sit around and wait for Lavi to come back with answers. She needed to find out now, even though it would be on her own. Opening her door and walking out barefoot, all that rang through the halls were the clangs of her anklets as they slid back and forth, occasionally colliding with one another.

She didn't know what to do.

It was an occurrence that wasn't rare, she admitted, but usually Allen was there. What was she supposed to do now when he wasn't here and it was him she didn't know what to do about? As she watched him being forced through the gate of the Ark forcefully over and over again, it became clear to her how hopeless she really was.

Would he even forgive her?

"Stupid pills," she muttered. She was better off without them bringing unwanted questions.

She watched her shadow bounce off the walls as she aimlessly walked around, feeling restless. It'd been a while now, and she had yet to hear from Lavi.

"Out late, are you?"

The voice made her spin around. It was the cloaked man from the other day, not the one she had seen just hours ago. Her eyes hardened as she gazed at him suspiciously.

"Who are you?" It was a demand, not a question.

"It's been a while," the man said, purposely avoiding her question. "I heard you're the one taking care of Tim."

She blinked in surprise. It was true, though. Ever since Allen had left, she had taken full responsibility of Tim. Come to think of the golem, however, she realized that she hadn't seen it for a while now.

"What did you do to Tim?"

"You don't even know who I am," the figure slyly replied, "so what makes you think I'm the one to blame?"

She took a large step forward, never taking her eyes off of him. "I know who you are."

"Oh, really?"

"You're Allen."

The figure chuckled as he reached for the hood of his cloak. "It's been a long time, Lenalee." Slowly, he pulled it off, and Lenalee's eyes widened when she saw the familiar red hair.

"But I'm not Allen."

* * *

"The hooded guy with Leverrier the other day was _General Cross_?"

Lenalee nodded, watching as Lavi paced her room from the spot on her bed. "Yes. I'm sure of it. He even took off his cloak. I saw him. And those pills don't make me hallucinate, either."

"Well, there's more you're not going to believe." Lavi had stopped pacing and was now leaning against the wall. "That cloaked man you were talking about... the one who was talking with Leverrier before you almost got caught."

Lenalee nodded. "What about him?"

"It's Link."

Her eyes widened. "_Link_?" No one had heard from him since Allen was taken away.

"Lenalee..."

Upon hearing the male Exorcist, she looked up. He was resting his head against the wall, staring up at the ceiling.

"...Have we hit a wall?"

"Maybe," she admitted, although she didn't want to. She whispered, "I need to know."

"If he's dead," Lavi swore, "I'll bring him back and kill him myself. I will."

She closed her eyes tightly, willing for the image of Allen dead to disappear. She felt herself shake slightly before she felt Lavi's eyes on her.

"But he isn't," Lavi added. "I'm sure of it. Like I said before, if you're alive, then he _has_ to be."

"We should tell someone," she said suddenly, meeting his surprised gaze.

"Huh? Why?"

"Think about it," she replied. "Leverrier's only going to want us dead when he finds out we're onto him because he doesn't want anyone else to know. If we tell more people, then they'll tell more people... he can't kill a whole organization. Especially when some of them are Exorcists."

Lavi seemed to want to shoot her point down, but after rethinking over it, he nodded. "That's true. Who should we tell, then?"

"My brother. He'll know what to do. I'm sure of it."

She moved to open the door, but he grabbed her wrist. "I should go back to Gramps." He explained, "he's probably already looking for me, and if he finds out that I've been..." He trailed off as he looked at her.

"I understand," she replied. "I'll still tell Brother, though. You go back to Bookman before he suspects something."

"Are you sure?" She could tell he was weary about letting her go alone.

"Positive."

* * *

"Are you just coming along for the ride, Tim?"

The golem that, oddly enough, had randomly returned was currently perching in her hair. As an effort to make herself seem less suspicious, she was taking coffee to her brother. If anyone asked of her whereabouts, she would say she was with Kanda, who had just left for a mission and wasn't expected back for another week or two.

Nervously turning a corner, she let out a gasp as she collided with someone and was sent backwards. Komui's cup slid off the tray, producing a shattering sound as it broke into pieces, spilling the hot liquid everywhere. Fearful, she looked up, afraid to see who she'd encountered.

It was the same one she'd seen with Leverrier earlier; Link. Surprised, she took a moment to stand back up as she tried to collect herself. Although she tried to ignore the feeling, the Dark Boots were immitting a tingling sensation through her legs. She vaguely wondered if the Innocence was trying to warn her of combat.

"Link?" Her voice was barely audible, just a quiet whisper. She had no idea of what else to say.

"I apologize, Miss Lenalee," the unidentified man replied, "but I am not Link. He is currently with the Inspector."

Her eyes glazed over with confusion. Hadn't Lavi said it was Link? So why was this man denying it when she was certain it was the same one? She was certain there were only two unidentified figures... unless another one was staging as a member of CROW. Could it be that Leverrier had been trying to trick them all along?

Angrily, she took a step forward, looking directly at the man's face. "Who are you?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note**_ - It took a while, but I finally return with another chapter! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and **Ozuchi-Kozuchi** for being an awesome BETA reader.

**Disclaimer** - I, under no circumstances, own _D. Gray-Man_.

* * *

It was hard to breathe. As anxiety stacked in her stomach, the person only continued to stare at her. She could feel their eyes on her, calculating her every move. Their atmosphere seemed friendly enough, but something had changed; there was something else swirling within it. He was a shell, just like her, but something was drastically different.

He was a shell holding something together that had been created.

He was being manipulated. She could feel it; she _knew_it. He was the one she had seen with Leverrier. The one that man referred to as his 'project'.

_Project_.

It disgusted her. How could Leverrier treat humans as such instruments? For goodness' sake, this _person_ before her couldn't even tell her who he was!

She couldn't take it anymore. She had to know. She _needed_to know. What could Leverrier be hiding that needed to be so top secret? Who had fallen victim to his experimentation?

She was standing before him now. There was no turning back. It was now or never. She wouldn't get another chance, and if she didn't move quickly, she might lose it.

The cloth was thick, she realized, as her fingers grabbed hold of it. Remarkably, whoever was hiding underneath it did not feel a need to make her stop. Wordlessly, she slipped off the head piece. As a pair of eyes met her own, and a head of hair fell back partially into place, it became clear to her.

Gasping, she dropped the fabric, taking a step back in shock. She held her hands up against her mouth with wide eyes. Tears slipped off her face as she shook her head. "No." She pleaded, "please, no. You're not him."

"Not who?"

There was no denying him. The eyes. The hair. The voice. It was _him_, but it wasn't.

Lavi rounded the corner and promptly froze as his eyes fell upon the man. Then, rushing to Lenalee's side, he grasped hold of her.

"Lenalee? Lenalee! You need to breathe!"

He then realized what was wrong, however.

"Allen?"

"Damn it!"

The room was dark. Lenalee had no strength; it felt like the life had been sucked out of her. She sat against the wall, staring in the distance as she tried to forget what had happened. She willed the pain to go away. She willed herself to wake up from this nightmare and prove that this was not reality.

She willed Allen was still Allen.

"I can't believe they _brainwashed_him! He says he can't even remember much of what happened only a year ago because it 'wasn't important'. I'm going to kill Leverrier. I swear I'm going to."

She broke into sobs. Falling over onto her side, her whole body shook as she sobbed. Lavi immediately silenced, sitting beside her as she cried, unable to do anything. Even after she could no longer cry, he still sat there wordlessly, thinking.

"Lenalee," he finally spoke, and it must have been an hour later after she'd stopped crying, "you haven't given up yet, have you?"

"I have."

"Why?"

"He's not coming back," she tonelessly replied. "He doesn't care about anyone." She shut her eyes tightly as she whispered, "he doesn't care about me."

"He'd better. You've been waiting for months. There's no reason for you to suffer like this. He'd better see that he's damn lucky to be loved by someone like you."

She'd never heard him cuss so much before. Normally, she would've chuckled, but not anymore.

"So I'm not going to give up," he declared, grinning at her. "Allen's still in there. I'm sure of it. And I'm sure it'd mean a lot to him if you didn't either. So have some hope."

She smiled. It was fake, but she tried. "You really think so?"

"Ha!" He grinned. "I _know_ it'd make him happy. And if it doesn't, then I'll beat him until it does."

"What are we going to do, then? If Allen's been brainwashed, then surely he's going to follow orders and tell Leverrier what happened."

"Leverrier's meeting doesn't end for another twenty minutes," Lavi replied smugly. "So, I say we go find him again, Lenalee."

Lenalee nodded, determination burning in her eyes. "We won't fail," she replied. "We'll keep walking... just like Allen taught us."

After discussing their plan, the pair hurried out of Lenalee's room. They had only ten minutes to spare and were not about to let it go to waste. Tearing through hall after hall, neither Exorcist dared to look back or stop for anything as they raced against the clock to locate their target.

"Lavi!" Lenalee cried out, though in a whisper so no one would hear. Leaning against the wall, feeling light-headed, she told him, "I don't think we're heading the same way." Seeing his puzzled glance, she added, "my legs. They're getting weaker. He's not this way."

Much to her surprise, he grinned. "Ahh, I get it now!" Jogging back to meet her, he helped her walk the opposite direction. "Is it going away?" he asked her after a few minutes.

She nodded, before turning without warning down another hall. "This way." About halfway down the hall, they encountered Bookman, who was strolling along. Lenalee uncomfortably stepped to the side, making a bigger gap between herself and Lavi as she eyed the older man.

"Lavi!" Bookman barked, obviously irritated, "where have you been?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Allen - who was still covered in his cloak - turn the corner and begin approaching him. Upon seeing them, he stopped abruptly before turning and making his way back. Doing her best to not act suspicious, she turned to Lavi. "I'd better go tell Brother where those books are. Thank you for showing them to me." Looking at Bookman, she pretended to look guilty. "Sorry for taking up his time." She then took off, walking as fast as possible to catch up with Allen.

Allen had only gotten a couple of halls away when she found him. Luckily, she'd met up with him turning a corner, so he didn't make it very far when he tried to flee before she reached forward and grabbed his arm, dragging him back. Hoping to not cause much of a distraction, she opened a door to a storage closet and dragged him inside along with her before shutting it promptly.

"What are you doing?"

She had no response to that. Letting her hands fall to her sides, she looked at him helplessly. "I don't know," she finally replied after a moment, her voice soft. "I haven't known for a while. Life's moving too fast. If I spend too much time trying to plan my course, everyone else will move on without me. Especially you."

His eyes widened and for a second she thought he'd stopped breathing before he stepped forward. "_Me_? Why me?"

Lenalee slowly took a step backwards, but was unaware of the stairs behind her and tumbled backwards. Alarmed, Allen tried to grab hold of her wrist, but ended up being pulled down along with her. Both tumbled down the stairs, falling onto the floor below in a tangled mess of limbs. She was halfway lying in his lap, with her head leaning against his chest while he held her by her waist to support her. A rush of blood made it to her cheeks, and for once she was thankful of the darkness.

Allen recovered after a moment, helping her back onto her feet. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness somewhat, so she could make out the outlines of his frown and puzzled eyes. Determined, she didn't allow herself to back down and reached out, roughly grabbing hold of his cloak and dragging him backward so he couldn't get away.

She recalled their past days. Both the good and the bad times. It took much effort, but she finally allowed their last memories together to occupy her mind. For the first time, she let her mind wander to their last few months together before that day when Leverrier had marched him out early in the morning with no warning. She wondered how much more the man in front of her could change. It'd already been hard to understand him and now it seemed that she had no idea who he was at all. If anything, it only hurt her more, yearning to be let in by someone who had no intentions of letting _anyone_ anywhere near close to him emotionally.

Much like Lavi, it angered her too. How dare Central take away her comrade - her _family_ - and bring him back brainwashed, thinking he needed to hide behind a mask in the safety of that cloak's hood?

"What's wrong?"

"_What's wrong_?" She outrageously took a step forward. "What's wrong is that someone _important_ to me is someone I don't even _know_ anymore. Can you imagine how that would feel in _our_ position?" She took another step, placing her just inches from his face. "Can you imagine losing someone you _loved_ and not knowing what happened to them and never being told _anything_ about them for a whole God-forsaken _year_? Can you imagine yourself finding them sneaking around Headquarters, thinking of themselves as some kind of project and flat-out saying to your own face that they don't recall who you are because you weren't _important_?"

"You act like I don't remember anything," he replied, not even phased. "Well, I do. Only difference is that I understand my emotions now."

"Your _emotions_? You don't feel _anything_, Allen! How is that emotion?"

He eyed her darkly. "Exactly. I remembered that I care nothing of you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _D. Gray-Man_. The original plot and its characters belong to their respectful owner, Katsura Hoshino.

* * *

"_What_?"

The tears that threatened to fall stopped abruptly as Lavi's cry filled her ears. She spun around to face the bottom of the stairs, where Lavi stood, eyes blazing in anger. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she turned to look back at Allen, hoping for a change, but she found none. His eyes appeared more of an icy blue color as he glared at them bitterly, almost hatefully.

And once again, she was unsure of what to do. She was out of options. What was she supposed to do now? Beg him to listen? Force him to listen? Let him leave?

"What's _with_ you?" Lavi trotted forward so that he was standing before Allen. Without warning, he grabbed him by his shirt collar, holding him into place. "This isn't like you one bit! You told me before you left to look after Lenalee for you. You said you'd never forgive yourself if she got hurt because you weren't there." His eyes narrowed. "_You_ said that."

"I did," the white-haired man replied, attempting to force Lavi to release him with his own hand, but the Bookman's grip remained tight.

"Then why are you acting like this? Why'd you come back all anti-social and hateful? You'd better have a good explination or I just might beat you until you come to your senses rather than prove to everyone Leverrier's brainwashed you."

"I've already told you!" Allen snapped. "While I was at Central I realized my true purpose. There's no need for bonds. Central reminded me of what I really care about."

Lenalee narrowed her eyes. What could he possibly care about when he was so cut off from the world? It frustrated her to no end. They were never going to get any answers from Allen. They needed answers from another source. Someone who knew Allen more than anyone else.

And she knew just the person.

"What is it?"

Lenalee had been an Exorcist for many years. Although not as experienced as others, she was nowhere near being stupid. She understood the stakes just as anyone else. She understood the odds that were against them. For most of her life, she had lived on the boundary that separated life from death. Therefore, she could easily spot danger when it was close to her.

It'd never scared her as much as now, however. What was she supposed to do now when it seemed the very organization that had imprisoned her - the very organization she had come to call 'home' - was crumbling before her eyes, oblivious to those in it? There was so much she had learned in this small amount of time, and yet there was still so much she needed to know.

"Are you on our side?"

There was no other way to rephrase that question; no other way to make it easier to understand. All she could do now was pour faith into what she had asked and hope for the best. At this point, she wasn't sure _what_ to expect.

Exhaling smoke from his cigarette, he scoffed, "you expect me to believe it's really _me_ you're concerned about?"

Lavi grinned, but she could tell that it was forced. "Well, if you wanna take it in that direction, _General_," sarcasm dripped off the title, making it obvious he was irritated, "we'd like to know 'bout Allen."

She watched wearily as Cross propped his feet up on the coffee table, the corners of his mouth tugging into a grin that was almost sadistic. "Now that's more like it," he replied through a fit of laughter. She was beginning to wonder if he was slightly tipsy.

"What happened to you?" Lavi asked him after a moment of silence. "You left without a trace. You weren't even the accommodator for Judgment anymore. So why are you alive, hiding yourself in a cloak and with Leverrier?"

"Relax, will you?" He reached for another bottle of alcohol when Lenalee boldly snatched it away from him. Lavi and Cross stared at her in surprise, but she merely set the bottle in her lap carefully as to not break it.

"I would like to know what happened to Allen, of course," she spoke softly, afraid to hear what he had to say, "but there is more I'd like to know."

"I assumed," he replied before he began. "As you've probably already noticed, Leverrier is here on a visit. Along with the idiot and I, there is also another person that was under strict orders of Leverrier to keep their identity hidden, Link."

Lenalee nodded. "Why is Leverrier here, though?" It'd been a question that'd been bothering her for a while now. Leverrier had called Allen a 'project', yet technically didn't want him to get close to the people he'd been close with before. If he was so concerned about Allen's emotions returning, then what did he aim to accomplish here using Allen?

"As a fair warning, you two better watch your backs. Leverrier is already aware you're onto him. If the opportunity comes to kill you," he was looking specifically at Lavi, "he will take it without hesitation."

"What about Lenalee?" Lavi asked.

"He can't kill Lenalee since she's part of the Heart—"

"What?" both exclaimed.

"No, no." Lenalee sputtered, "there's no way I could be the Heart." She paused when she recalled the rest of what Cross had spoken. "Wait, you mean there are parts of the Heart?"

"There's no denying it," Cross replied. "Hevlaska herself has confirmed it. A part of the idiot's Innocence has become part of your own."

She stared at him wide-eyed. There was no way. How could Crown Clown become part of her Dark Boots? Unconsciously, she felt her anklets. "How long?" she mumbled softly in question, no longer looking at him but her Innocence.

"God knows how long ago it happened. Obviously before your Innocence malfunctioned. Both of your Innocence is tied to one another; if one is weakened, the other is as well."

"Is that why I lost synchronization with the Dark Boots?"

"Partly. You also lost synchronization because you lost faith in yourself, as did Allen. Your emotions are tied into your Innocence. The more you doubt yourself, the lower your synchronization drops."

Lenalee thought over his words for a moment. It was true that she'd doubted herself, but it wasn't just her that this phenomenon had occurred with. Allen had told her once about his time at the Asian Branch. He'd doubted himself as well and was met with the same results. It then hit her.

"Wait," she asked him, "Allen didn't doubt himself until _after_ he 'lost' his Innocence. How do you explain that, then?"

"Your emotions do not tie into just your Innocence."

She gasped in surprise. "Oh, no. It was me who weakened Allen's Innocence wasn't it? I doubted myself when I was separated from him. And when he doubted himself and I doubted myself more..."

"It weakened your own," Cross finished. "If there's one thing you will keep in mind when using your Innocence, remember this. The more you both trust one another, the stronger your Innocence will get. Just because your Innocence have evolved into their final form as the Heart doesn't mean they can revert back. It isn't just his Innocence that is the Heart, it's your's too."

"Does that mean no other equipment types can achieve this form?" She gestured to her anklets.

"No. Parasitic types cannot achieve the Idiot's 'final form' either."

She took a deep breath, allowing everything to sink in. Finally, when she was ready and had settled upon her decision, she looked at the man in front of her again.

"General Cross," she told him slowly, but sternly, "I want to stop Leverrier and save Allen, but I need your help. Please, tell me everything you know about what he is planning and what he did to Allen." She clenched her fists. "I don't doubt myself... I _know_ I'm strong enough to do this, and Crown Clown and the Dark Boots know that too. We can't do anything until we know what's going on, though."

He met her pleading eyes and was silent for a moment. Lavi and her studied his face, trying to determine what he was thinking. This was the only safe route they could take. If they were turned down, they'd have no other choice but to pry it out of Leverrier themselves.

"Very well. I will tell you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer** - I do not own _D. Gray-Man_. The original plot and its characters are property of Katsura Hoshino.

* * *

Lenalee was so relieved, she could only show her gratitude for the General by breathing a sigh of relief and looking at him with pleading eyes that urged him to continue. As Lavi seated himself on the floor beside her, she calmly folded her hands into her lap and looked back up at the older Exorcist. She was more than eager to hear what he had to say; she was dependent on it.

"It is true that I was shot," he started, smoke pouring out of his mouth as he spoke. Timcanpy was currently flapping his tail up and down briskly before her, shooing away the smoke. "The bullets Central used on me were not common, everyday bullets. Being the brother of our ridiculous Supervisor, you should know exactly how well his sedatives are. These were just as strong, however they paralyze you instantly for a temporary amount of time. They're perfect for any ordinary human."

Lavi, ever skillful at reading between the lines, was already looking at him suspiciously. "If they were so weak against Exorcists, how come you didn't just get back up and defend yourself?"

"Why else do you think, brat?" General Cross scoffed. "I knew something was coming the moment I heard a knock on that door, not even hearing the guards outside speak. They woke up thinking they had just fallen asleep when in fact they had been sedated as well, all of the evidence carefully removed before they fled the scene."

"Did Leverrier plan it?" Lenalee didn't know what to think anymore. She could clearly remember the day Leverrier and Allen had ended up in the same room, only for them both to accuse each other as the General's murder. She'd nearly gotten chewed out by Allen when she ran into him not too long after before he realized it was only her. She shut her eyes tightly as she recalled the anger evidence on his face, the sharp tone he'd used when he demanded to know what she wanted.

"Lenalee."

She shook the thoughts from her head, looking at Lavi. "Hmm?"

"You didn't take your medication, did you?" It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"I..." she meant to make up an excuse but decided against it. Now was not the time, after all. "No, I didn't."

"To answer your question," Cross suddenly cut into their small conversation, "yes, it had been Leverrier who planned it. After he faked my death, even disconnecting my synchronization with Judgement in the process, he tried to pin the blame on Allen, though it obviously didn't work."

"How'd Leverrier disconnect your synchronization with Judgement?" Lavi asked him.

"How should I know? I was out cold at the time."

"Please continue, General," Lenalee told him calmly, earning a nod in agreement from the Bookman.

"Lenalee, do you remember the time you were present when Allen awoke after they retrieved Timothy?" Immediately, she perked up. "Good. Now, do you remember exactly what you saw?"

She nodded, the memory vivid in her mind. She'd never actually learned what'd happened, now that she thought of it. Allen had been asleep when she'd arrived; Link had let her in, telling her he was going to meet with Leverrier before leaving promptly. Suddenly, she felt her stomach drop. "Oh, no..."

Cross nodded. "Exactly. He stabbed himself with his Innocence on accident and it reacted to the Fourteenth."

"So Link reported it to Leverrier and he used it as an excuse to get Allen?" Lavi gritted his teeth. "Damn it! Right under our noses too, that little-"

"I don't get it," Lenalee cut the red-head off. "Link may have been able to report it, but Leverrier would still need proof that Allen was a threat in order to take him to Central." She froze as she recalled Timcanpy disappearing for a few hours that same day. Allen had said told her the golem was only out with Lavi. She narrowed her eyes as she looked back at Lavi. "Lavi, that day Allen returned Tim was nowhere to be found for a few hours. Yet he told me he was with _you_."

Lavi blinked in surprise. "I've never been with Tim alone, Lenalee. No one has. The only person Tim will settle for if Allen's not present is you."

She froze. Timcanpy had been present when Allen had woken up, and it'd been obvious he'd been out of it at the time. "General, please don't tell me Leverrier fished through Tim's memories..."

"He did," he confirmed grimly. "In his request for permission to remove Allen, he stated that he was 'clearly under the influence of the Fourteenth' and that he might've harmed you. His request was accepted and Allen was escorted to Central, where he's been ever since, save for now."

"What did they do to him?" Lenalee asked.

"If there is one thing Leverrier would hate to lose, it's control. In this case, he's here having Allen hide undercover to see what will effect him. I would imagine that in the future he plans to return Allen to Headquarters, but it won't be until he's certain he's his ideal soldier."

Suddenly, Lenalee felt very sick. What happened to Allen was just _beyond_inhumane. She clenched her fists hard. "What'd Leverrier do to _perfect_ this 'soldier' he thinks he can have to himself?"

"He sealed away his memories, or at least made them feel unimportant to Allen to the point where he has to think hard just to think of a memory. Rumor has it you were so important to the idiot that Leverrier went through a lot brainwashing him to think that he no longer finds you important to him, bringing back his earlier thoughts of only caring for the Akuma. Aside from that, Allen now sees himself more as the host for the Fourteenth being allowed to continue living in exchange for being Leverrier's pet; I wouldn't be surprised if he no longer realizes he is an accomondator."

"Lenalee? Where are you going?" Lavi cried out as she sprung up onto her feet, making her way to the door. She stopped as he grasped her wrist tightly.

"I need to find Allen," she told him. "If... if all of this is true, then maybe I can break through to Allen - the _real_ Allen." Shakily, she told him, "I mean, his memories can still resurface. I... I can't change what he may think of me, especially if he's truly always felt this way, but..."

"Lenalee, General Cross said it himself. He _does_care for you. Probably more so than the rest of us. I mean, it sounds like he fought desperately to not forget about you. The battle isn't over yet. He _has_ to be in there somewhere. If we can somehow get him to remember and realize that this isn't him then he'll come back."

"It's easier than you think," Cross spoke up again. "When they brainwashed him, they did so by attaching a tag CROW developed to his neck that connects to his brain. You separate that from him, it should do the trick."

"Great!" Lavi exclaimed, his foul mood gone suddenly. Lenalee smiled as she saw the grin she'd missed so much. "Come on, Lenalee! We can get Allen back and you two can finally tell each other your feelings and get it over and done with."

Lenalee immediately shook her head. "No, no, I couldn't do that. Brother would freak, and anyway I don't think Allen's interested in love..."

Lavi nodded. "Yes, that's exactly why he fought to keep his memories of a _girl_, specifically _you_. I mean, he just let the rest of us go like we were unimportant!"

"I hate to break it to you," Cross suddenly spoke up, "but Leverrier plans to leave tonight."

No more time was wasted as the two hurried out of the room, forgetting completely about the General as they scouted the place for Allen once more. The brainwashed Exorcist was nowhere to be found, however, making Lenalee worry for a moment that Leverrier had already left with him until they spotted him at the end of another hall. He froze, as did they, before he turned and darted the way he'd came.

"Hey, wait, Beansprout!"

Lenalee invoked her Innocence, brightening the dim hallway with its green glow, before taking off after him. No way was she going to let him go again, even if it meant that she'd have to do it by force. At this rate, she was probably going to have to.

She caught up to him in record time since he was on foot, making it easy for her to grab hold of his sleeve and pull him to a halt, deactivating her Innocence just as Lavi caught up with them. Determined to escape, Allen turned, twisting his arm uncomfortably to knock her arm out of the way and release him. He barely made it a step forward before Lavi effortlessly grabbed hold of the collar of his shirt, holding him in place.

For a moment, she watched as he struggled in Lavi's grip, his head swatting from side to side as he tried to break free, demanding to be let go. Lavi released his hold, but immediately grabbed hold of his arms, attempting to pin him onto the ground. Allen proved to be difficult, however, and growled out, turning as he yanked one arm free, about to punch the unsuspecting Bookman.

That is, until Lenalee stepped inbetween them both.

"What are you doing?" Although his voice was still cold and emotionless, it was also laced with confusion and surprise. Even Lavi's eyes were wide.

"Just stop it," she ordered, looking between them both. "You're supposed to be friends. Friends don't fight like this." Her eyes narrowed on Allen. "So if you're going to punch anyone, then make it me."

Allen's fist visibly trembled.

"You said it yourself," she reminded him. "You never liked me. _Me_. What would bring you to punch a friend?"

"Stop it."

"Unless if-"

"Stop it!" he shouted. "I don't like any of you!"

She smiled softly. "Okay," she whispered, her hand slowly inching towards where his neck was. When she felt the seal beneath her fingers, she gripped onto it tightly and, with a deep breath, slowly tore it off, discarding it on the floor and taking a step back to get a better look at him.

At first his eyes were wide, but after a moment he clutched his head, letting out a loud cry of pain. Lavi rushed to his side just as he fell to his knees, still holding his head. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the screaming finally stopped and he slowly raised his head once again. The sharp look that had once been in his eyes had now been replaced with confusion.

"What..." he blinked a few times, "where am I? What's going on?" He let out a groan as he raised a hand to his temple. "My head hurts..."

"Allen!" Lavi excitedly sprung forward, hugging said Exorcist tightly and swinging him around. "You're back!"

For a tense moment, Allen was silent. "I am?" He then looked up at Lenalee, freezing when their eyes locked. He opened his mouth, about to speak, before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_ - The next chapter will be the last of this story. Thank you everyone who has reviewed. I really appreciate it.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Author's Note_** - Hello, everyone! I apologize for the long wait. I thought for a long while over this story, and after some thinking decided to continue writing "Shadows of the Past". This will allow me to fill some loop holes without rushing the entire story and provide you all with a much better ending.

Thank you for your patience. I will be writing for a bit longer.

**Disclaimer** - I don't own _D. Gray-Man_. The original plot and its characters are property of Katsura Hoshino.

* * *

Lenalee sat against the wall outside the infirmary, hugging her legs as she laid her chin on her knees. She wasn't certain how long it'd been, but it'd definitely been a few hours at least. As soon as Allen fainted, Lavi and her had rushed him to the infirmary. It'd been a shock for everyone to see the white-haired boy, but as soon as it sunk in she was kicked out and prohibited from entering again.

Only Lavi and her brother had been permitted to enter. She assumed Lavi had been allowed because he was a Bookman, although it wasn't a big surprise; a Bookman was permitted to be just about anywhere they wished to be. Neither had yet to come out of the infirmary, though. She'd tried to listen through the wall, but the room must've been insulated well or its inhabitants did a good job of keeping their voice level low because she wasn't able to hear anything.

So she waited.

And waited.

Her hand moved to rub her stiff neck, but the action seemed to remind her of the tag they'd removed just hours ago. Hand going limp, she stared at the floor as the events replayed over and over again. Shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts, she traced one of her anklets with her finger.

It was cold.

Colder than they'd ever been before.

For the first time in her life, she felt completely alone. Head Nurse wasn't there to talk to her, and neither was her brother. And now it seemed that even the Dark Boots had left her. It felt no different than when she was first taken to the Black Order.

At first, she paid no heed to the approaching footsteps - they were probably just someone who would pass her by anyway - but she blinked when they stopped in front of her. Curious, she looked up to see Kanda standing there, scowling at her.

"Kanda?"

His eyes narrowed.

"Get up."

She stared at him in surprise. "What?"

"I said get up!" he snapped at her. Scrambling to her feet, she stared at him in question, not daring to question him any further. He was already annoyed by something. As he eyed over her small form, she gulped, afraid of what he would say next. "When was the last time you ate?" he demanded.

"Umm..." she tried to remember. When _was_ the last time she had eaten a decent meal? The past few days she wasn't even certain she'd eaten anything. Saving Allen had taken full priority.

Kanda turned and began to walk away. "Come on," he said simply, and she jogged to catch up with him. They continued at Kanda's swift pace for a few minutes in complete silence. She could tell by the way he glared at anyone who got in his way and his hand twitched as it rested on Mugen that he was annoyed.

Finally, she had the courage to speak again.

"Umm, Kanda?"

The man was silent for a moment, but just when she thought he was ignoring her he muttered, "what?"

"Where are we going?"

"The cafeteria. And you're going to eat a decent meal, not some stupid salad like you always eat," he responded sharply. There was a slight pause before he mumbled to himself, "tired of seeing you starve yourself to death."

At first, she could only stare at him in surprise, but as though seeing her hesitation he tightly gripped her wrist and began to drag her towards the cafeteria. After a moment, she smiled softly, thankful she had not been forgotten.

"Kanda?"

"_What_?"

She giggled at his irritation, and she could almost see smoke pouring out of his ears. "Thank you."

"Che," the swordsman replied, "just eat and we'll both be happy."

When they arrived at the cafeteria, Kanda ordered her to sit at a table and, without waiting for her to reply, stalked over to the front counter where Jerry stood and ordered their food. She felt uncomfortable with everyone staring at her, but she forced herself to ignore their stares and slowly headed towards a vacant table. They were probably just surprised because she hadn't been to the cafeteria during the day in a while; lately, she'd been going there late at night or early in the morning. How Kanda had known she hadn't been eating properly the past few days was beyond her knowledge.

The man returned a few minutes later, sliding her tray over so that it was in front of her. She couldn't recall ever having such a large meal, but she shrugged it off. It seemed Kanda had requested her favorite foods, including chocolate cake. Giving in, she slowly reached for her utensil.

"You're not leaving until you eat it all," Kanda told her sternly before returning to slurping his soba. Lenalee smiled, taking a deep breath before dipping into her first meal in weeks. As she ate, her companion would sometimes glance in her direction, but she ignored it, focusing on eating instead.

She was halfway through her meal when she heard the doors to the cafeteria thrown open and someone call out her name. Head snapping up quickly, she watched, bewildered, as Lavi raced towards her. "Lavi?" She cocked her head to the side as he stopped in front of her, breathing heavily. It was obvious he'd been running for a while.

"Lenalee! There you are!" He exclaimed, grabbing her arm and tugging, "come on! Allen wants to see you!"

She was left speechless for a moment. "Allen... wants to see me?"

Lavi nodded eagerly. "Yeah! Really bad, too! Come on, Lenalee."

Her legs felt numb as he pulled her along, but she didn't make it very far before Kanda grabbed hold of her other arm. "She's not going _anywhere_ until she finishes her meal."

"What? We don't have time for this, Yuu!" Lavi argued. "If we don't get back soon, Allen will try to find her himself and he needs to rest!"

"I need to finish eating, Lavi," she told him softly. "I promised Kanda I would. I'll see Allen when I finish, okay?"

"Lenalee!"

Hearing her brother's voice, she peered around Lavi to see him waving frantically as he rushed towards her. "Brother? What are you doing here?"

"Lenalee! You must come quickly! At this rate, Allen's going to hunt you down himself!"

"Brother..." she tried to speak, but found herself cut off.

"Lenalee, when Allen heard you weren't outside the infirmary anymore he started blaming himself for it and insists on finding you himself," Lavi told her. "Please come with us so he'll stop pushing himself."

"I want to finish eating," she told them. "So please tell Allen to wait. I promise I'll go see him in a few minutes."

"But Lenalee-"

Her eyes widened as Kanda pulled out Mugen, pointing it threatingly at Lavi. "She wants to finish her meal, so let her."

"But Allen-"

"Tell the Bean Sprout to quit whining like a baby and let her finish her damn meal!" the swordsman snapped.

Suddenly, a new voice yelled, "it's _Allen_, BaKanda!"

For probably the first time in recorded history, the crowded cafeteria fell dead-silent. Silverware dropped onto plates, mouths fell open, and someone in the back dropped their tray entirely. Lenalee grew stiff, too afraid to look behind her. Even though there was no denying who it was, she had learned long ago to never get her hopes up.

She began to shake, her heart thumping hard as she met Lavi's gaze and silently mouthed, "I can't do it." The grin slipped from his face.

She wanted to run.

She wanted to hide.

But she was too stunned to even move.

Finally, she mustered the courage, about ready to dart for the door when a pair of arms wrapped around her, pulling her against their owner. "Allen," she stuttered, and his grip tightened as he pulled her closer, "you're back..."

Allen released her, though never letting go of her hand as he turned her so she faced him. A tear managed to escape from her eye, trailing down her cheek, and another one wasn't far behind; a sign the dam holding back her tears was beginning to break.

Panic seemed to rise up in the man before as he shot forward, grabbing her shoulders. "No, no, don't cry, Lenalee. Please. I don't want you sad. I just want you to be happy."

"Idiot," she croaked, unable to contain a sob that escaped her throat, "I _am_ happy!"

She errupted in sobs, her shoulders shaking violently. After a moment, Allen took a step forward, cupping her face in his hands. Her breath hitched as he did so, and she stared up at him in surprise. Her sobs ceased, but her tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

"I can't take back what I said," he mumbled, looking away from her at down at the floor instead, his bangs obscuring his face, "but if I could I would. What I said wasn't true, Lenalee."

She smiled softly, covering his hands with her own. It made her remember the time she'd woken up and found him sitting next to her. "I know," she told him. "I shouldn't have believed it, and for that I'm sorry." She squeezed his hands reassuringly.

Suddenly, the young man grinned at her, moving his hands so that her own was in his grasp. As she stared at him questionably, he led her over to the table, where the rest of her meal was at. Forcing her to sit beside him, he picked up her spoon.

She rolled her eyes. "Allen, if you're that hungry you should get your own meal. I highly doubt what's left will-mmph!" She was cut short as he stuffed the spoon full of mashed potatoes and gravy into her mouth. As she choked it down, laughter roared around them.

The boy merely smiled at her innocently, though. She tried to protest as another spoonful of food came her way, but Allen paid no heed to it, instead insisting that she ate. When he went to scoop up some more potatoes, she reached forward, grabbing hold of his arm and preventing him from moving it.

"Lenalee?" the bewildered boy questioned her.

"I know what you're trying to do - and it's very sweet of you - but you don't need to do it." She gave him a smile. "You're home now, and you're safe and under your own control, and I find that far more important than you trying to make everything up to me." As he stiffened, she squeezed his hand tightly. She stood, helping him to his feet. Beaming at him, she pulled him into a tight hug. "Welcome home, Allen."

At first, he remained frozen, but then he recovered from his shock, returning her hug. "I'm back, Lenalee," he choked. Suddenly, both of them felt another pair of arms wrap around them, signaling that someone had joined their embrace. "Lavi!" Allen yelled, and she giggled as she felt him jump in surprise.

"It was such a beautiful reunion," the red-head told them with a large grin on his face, "but I wanted to join too!"

Allen gave him a disapproving look. "What is this, a group hug?"

"No, but now that you mention it, I do believe we are in need of one." Lavi then yelled loud enough for everyone in all of Headquarters to hear, "group hug!"

All at once all of Allen's friends and fellow comrades sprung forward, joining what the red-head had just deemed as a group hug. Surprisingly, even some of the Finders and scientists who had once doubted Allen's loyalty had joined in, tears of joy rolling down their faces.

As everyone disbanded, returning to their tables with smiles on their faces, Komui approached Allen, informing him that it was time for him to return to the infirmary. Disappointment was evident on the boy's face, but he nodded, waving goodbye to everyone before turning. She quickly reached forward, grabbing hold of his hand before walking beside him.

Allen may have returned to his normal self, but the battle was far from over. Leverrier was never one to give up so easily. He was a man of power, and after encountering him so many times she'd come to learn that he aware of it and would use it against his enemies.

If they weren't careful, Allen could be taken from them again.

"Lenalee?"

She hadn't even realized she'd squeezed her hand. The boy had just awoken, though, and it wouldn't be fair to inform him of such a manner yet. He would need to be told, but for now he needed rest.

There were other things she needed to tell him first.

So instead of telling him, she forced a smile.

"It's nothing."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Author's Note_** - I apologize for the extremely long delay, as it was never my intention to make everyone wait so long for an update. Please do keep in mind that this story _will_ have an ending. I won't be abandoning it.

**Disclaimer** - I do not own _D. Gray-Man_. The original plot and its characters belong to their respective owner, Katsura Hoshino.

* * *

I apologize for the extremely long delay. It was not my intention to make everyone wait so long for an update.

"Name?"

"Allen Walker."

"Age?"

"Sixteen."

"Who are the people occupying this room?"

"Aside from you, Lenalee, Komui, and Lavi."

The silence was tense - though not as tense as before when she'd been forced to wait outside the infirmary - as the Matron jotted notes down on her clipboard. Finally, at last, the woman reached forward, pulling the thermomoter from the white-haired Exorcist's mouth. "A slight fever," she announced as she recorded it in her file, "but nothing to worry about. You should be free to go in a few days' time."

Allen nodded, forcing a small smile to reassure them before his gaze returned to his lap once more. She moved to comfort him, but Lavi was much quicker, practically dragging their friend out of his bed as he hugged. She giggled as Bookman's apprentice continued to embarrass the poor boy.

"We missed you, Bean Sprout!"

Her attention was soon pulled away from the pair as she noticed a figure lurking by the entrance of the infirmary. Normally, she would've grown suspicious and assumed them to be a threat, but upon seeing them nod at her before exiting, she realized who they were. Carefully making her way to the exit, when she was certain she could make her leave without anyone seeing, she quickly slipped out of the room.

"His memory alright?" the cloaked figure asked her after a moment. The hallway was vacant, creating less attention on them, but she didn't dare to raise her voice.

There were spies from Central, after all, undoubtedly.

"Yes," she replied quietly with a nod. "Head Nurse says he has a small fever. Whether that's an excuse to keep him in there until all of this is resolved or not, I don't know."

The man scoffed. "Like that'll keep him in. That brat could be on life support and still insist on getting out of bed. Always been that way."

She giggled softly. "General Cross," she asked him, smiling gently, "you care for Allen a lot more than you like to show, don't you?"

For a moment, the man was silent. "If you tell him, I will deny every word," he grumbled.

"I'm sure he's in denial about it," she remarked, looking into the window of the infirmary and watching Allen. The boy had somehow managed to escape Lavi's headlock and now appeared to be berating him for calling him his much disliked name. Although it looked as though the boy had never been dragged through the front doors of Headquarters that day, she knew it was taking every fiber of his being to force himself to do so.

Allen may have returned to 'normal', but the emotional scars still remained.

"However, I'm willing to bet there's a small part of him that knows you've taken a liking to him."

"Then there's no reason for me to tell him, is there?"

She tore her gaze away from her comrade to look at the man standing beside her. "General Cross," she spoke, only now her voice held a sharper edge to it, "you told him that he harbored the memories of a Noah, which would someday erode him, and then you disappearred without a trace. Not only was he persecuted by others after the Order caught wind of it, but Central has tried to make him into a science experiment. Letting him just _believe_ that you care about him is not what he needs. He needs to hear you tell it to him yourself."

For a moment, an awkward silence carried over them. She'd never scolded a man other than her brother before, let alone one who was much older than her. To scold a General of all people was frowned upon even more, and for that reason she found herself sucking in a breath.

She furiously shook her head. No, she couldn't think that way. Cross _needed_ to be lectured. Not just for Allen, but for everyone else's sake as well. Lavi and her alone would not be enough to stop Leverrier. They needed help.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to push aside her irritation. Deep down inside, she knew the General wanted to do everything in his power to help Allen. However, under the close watchful eye of Central, he was prevented from getting too close.

"General Cross," she pressed once more, "we're going to help Allen, but we can't do this alone. We need help. _Your_ help."

"You managed to revert him back to his old self by yourselves, did you not?" the General replied casually, though not unkindly.

She blushed. "Not exactly. Allen... Allen would still be under their control had we not found you."

"That's not the point," he replied gruffly, making her flinch. "The point is, you both knew the risks, yet you both thought nothing of it."

Unexpectedly, the door to the infirmary opened suddenly. Horrified, she spun around, blinking as she saw her brother standing there. "Ah, Lenalee, there you are. What are you doing out here?" As though finally noticing that someone else was in the hallway, he grew tense, only to instead stare in a mixture of shock and awe. "_General Cross_?" he sputtered. "Where on this green Earth have you been? I swear, if you were-"

"Central," the General replied as though here were just commenting on the weather. Without even waiting for an invitation, he strolled passed the Supervisor and into the room. She watched tensely as Allen looked up, eyes growing wide at the sight of his mentor.

"_Master_?"

For a moment, the room was silent as everyone waited for the General to speak. During this time, her brother wordlessly guided her back into the infirmary, shutting the door softly behind them.

"Close your mouth," the General said after a moment, though his voice wasn't as harsh as it normally was when he was in the boy's presence. Upon seeing Allen blink, he added, "it makes you look like an idiot."

Allen stared for a moment, likely puzzled, before he complied. A frown soon crossed his features, however, and she braced herself for what she would come next. "Why?"

"'Why' what?"

"You know what I mean."

"That can mean a lot of things, you know."

Allen's eyes hardened. "Just answer me."

The room grew reticent once more, making her shift uncomfortably within her brother's embrace. General Cross seemed to accept the silence, however, replying undauntedly, "good news, I'm not dead."

The joke seemed to hang in the air, making the situation all the more awkward. It took every ounce of her self-control to not flinch.

"I can see that."

"You of all people should know we don't have time for that. We're scheduled to leave within the next twenty minutes." He added when he saw her eyes widen, "and there's no way you're going back there if I have anything to say about it. I'd much rather not be haunted by that clown for the rest of my life because I didn't look after his moron of a son."

Allen looked up so fast, she could have sworn his neck had cracked. "Did you...?"

"Yes, I did."

She wasn't certain what had brought the sudden change in the boy, but nevertheless walked over to his bed, sitting down beside him and pulling him into a hug. "It's going to be alright, Allen," she promised, rubbing his back as she reassured, "we won't let them take you."

At first, Allen stiffened, but then slowly relaxed, leaning into her embrace. "It's best that you guys don't get involved, Lenalee. You saw what they did to Master. If Leverrier finds out you know about everything, he'll come after you too."

"With that logic, he'd have to take the whole Order as well," Lavi piped in, grinning as Allen stared at him in confusion. "We figured Leverrier would try to silence us, like he tried to do with General Cross, so we told everyone in Headquarters."

Komui smiled, lying a hand on Allen's shoulder. "And I've informed the other branches. We're planning a revolt to remove Leverrier and the other higher officials in Central from power."

Lavi and her blinked along with Allen. It was the first time they'd heard of such a plan. "We are?" all three of them replied simultaneously.

"That's the gist of the plan, anyway."

Lavi stared incredulously. "And what _is_ our plan, exactly?"

"We don't have one," the Supervisor replied in a cheerful tone that was concerning to the Exorcists in the room. Lenalee sighed deeply, rubbing her temples.

"Brother, you can't just call up Central and tell them all of the other branches are revolting."

"Yeah," Lavi agreed. "You don't even know for sure which branches are on your side. Besides, Central isn't going to be eager to step down. Have you even put thought into what they may do in response?"

The silence that followed was promptly broken by Cross. "Well, I'm heading back to Central. Keep the idiot in here until we're long gone. Leverrier should leave him alone for the present time, at least until things settle down. He wouldn't want to try and pull anything that would risk an outburst from the rest of you, after all." Without even waiting for a response, he turned on his heels and headed for the door.

"General Cross!" Lenalee called after him, standing up. The man stopped, but didn't turn. She took it as his invitation to speak. "Thank you," she said, smiling at him, "for everything."

"I'm a General," he replied, waving off her gratitude, "it's my job."

"That's got to be the first time I've ever seen you take your job seriously."

Everyone spun around to look at the boy who'd spoken, gawking at him as he climbed slowly out of bed. He grinned, somewhat devilishly, as the General turned.

"Considering you did a good job in getting yourself in this mess, I have to be." He then spoke to Lenalee, "do me a favor while I'm gone and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

She smiled, wrapping an arm around Allen to help support him as she responded, "will do." Upon meeting Allen's gaze, she nodded, releasing her hold on him and watching as he sprung forward, grabbing onto his mentor's Exorcist jacket.

"Please come home safely," he murmured, "I still have questions."

The General nodded. "Alright." He met Lenalee's gaze one last time, saying before making his leave, "make sure you tell him."

She didn't have any time to protest, and could only watch helplessly as the General left. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to comply with his demands, leading Allen back to his bed. The boy stared at her in confusion as she sat down beside him.

"Lenalee...?"

She forced a smile, reaching forward and gently grabbing his hand.

"I'll start from the beginning."


End file.
